Friday night and Chuck was a little worried how things were shaping up at the office. Fortunately he managed to sneak out the door while the boss wasn't looking. He rushed off to pick up Wendy from the train station. A quick refuel and they were on the road - which was empty. There was no traffic the whole way. Really. Concerns about this freak occurrence were rife amongst the passengers. Someone would have told us if World War Three had broken out and all travel was banned surely?

Meanwhile at the campsite - after firing off a quick text message to Chuck - Cath was contemplating whether or not to have dessert after a tasty risotto. She had had an uncomfortable train journey from London all because of the bad luck of being in the railway carriage with no luggage rack. So she had five hours with her MMC world in her lap. Have you seen the size of Cath's bag? It's bigger than she is. It even comes with its own hand truck - I kid you not. Feeling a lot more comfortable and full(Well almost. There is always room for dessert after being squashed by an expedition bag for half a day) she was just tucking into a yoghurt when the screaming started....

Five hours later, Chuck and Wendy arrived at the campsite armed with instructions from Cath with a bearing for where her tent was.

"Right so that's 150 degrees from the toilet block. Why is this place empty?"

"Ssshhh"

"What?"

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Ssssshh!!! There's someone screaming!"

"It's pitch dark. My head torch is playing up. Cath's tent has disappeared and you're telling me that you can hear someone screaming?!"

"It's stopped. Are you sure that this is the correct campsite? This place is giving me the heebie-jeebies."

"Ah, look, there's a second toilet block."

Within minutes Chuck and Wendy had located Cath and her tent who was extremely happy to see them. She looked a little pale. She had bravely wandered around the campsite with a number ten hex in hand looking to see if anyone was in trouble. She quickly came to the conclusion that there were definitely supernatural happenings going on here and beat a hasty retreat to her tent. Chuck and Wendy would be here soon - strength in numbers. No spirit was going to scare her away from her weekend in Cornwall - she'd been looking forward to this for months!

The next day the three awoke to glorious sunshine. Shame they were so knackered from a troubled night's sleep. While munching on their breakfast of beans on bread with cheese - a secret family recipe of Chuck's passed down from his grandfather - they noticed that they weren't the only people there. "Hi" squeaked a little girl - who then proceeded to scream at her little brother for rubbing some dirt on her dress. Cath looked a little sheepish.

That afternoon the three took a leisurely stroll down to Bosigran, home to some fantastic multipitch climbing at all grades where they met a university climbing club - "I say what ho old chap!" - who were swarming all around the climb that Chuck wanted to do. After retreating further down the crag for some peace and quiet, they settled on a route.

Climbing as a three they started on Autumn Flakes a 2 star HS. Chuck ran some pitches together to minimise the rope work. By the time they were finished, they decided that they may as well enjoy the evening at the not now haunted campsite with a nice bottle of wine.

The next day they went back to Bozzy with the classic 3 star VS Little Brown Jug in mind. Which was now free, thank the lord.

"Little brown thug, thug, thug"
"Show me the jug, jug, jug"
"Little brown thug, thug, thug"
"Show me that jug, jug, jug, jug, juggg"
"All together now..."

"Oh shut up, Chuck, you need to work on the being 'in tune' bit."

Chuck set off up the climb and found it to be extremely good. He just couldn't get that song out of his head either. The first pitch was superb climbing and well protected - he wanted to go back down and do it again. But that would delay the encounter with the little brown jug, jug, jug...

"Chuck, have you thought of taking singing lessons?"

"Sorry"

Wendy and Cath also enjoyed the pitch. So off went Chuck to lead pitch two and three in one. The crux is awkward and protected by a single, good, but shallow, nut at chest height - which Chuck proceeded to kick out on the way through - below which is a large ledge which you wouldn't want to hit. The air was turned blue and the little brown jug was sought and finally found by a very grateful Chuck. The rest of the route was a superb layback - jamming - down right thuggy crack.

"Little brown thug, thug, thug"
"Show me the jug, jug, jug"
"Little brown thug, thug, thug"

"Chuck..."

"Ok, ok, I just can't get it out of my head. It's not my fault I was born a talentless singer."

The thuggy crack got mixed reviews from the rest of the party.

Afterwards a vote was taken amongst the party and Little Brown Jug was declared a boys' climb, and a girls' climb was called for.

"I know just the climb. There's an HVS around the corner."

"Isn't that the one that AG had his epic on a few years ago?"

"Yes, but it looks really nice"

"With the arm bar crux?"

So after finding a more suitable girls' climb, the team set off up Doorpost, a 2 star HS of three pitches. A fine climb with a little bit of everything. Chuck ran the second and third pitch together - and suffered some horrendous rope drag but still managed to enjoy the route. Sometimes that great gear placement is just not worth it no matter how long a runner you put on it.

Oh yes, and I forgot to mention that day it had rained all morning and that a cafe faff was called for. But by mid-afternoon they were wishing that they had some sun block with them on the crag.

Anyway after a good afternoon of climbing the three headed off to St Ives for a slap up dinner at one of the seaside eateries. The town was humming - Chuck hoped that his clothes weren't also humming; Cath and Wendy hoped Chuck wouldn't start singing again - and everyone was having a good time. It took a while to find a place that was still serving but when they found somewhere, the food was good.

Monday saw the departure of Cath by train and Chuck and Wendy went to the beach. They ate at a pub that night that featured men who could sing. Chuck was in awe.

Tuesday (yes, one extra day's holiday taken) saw Chuck and Wendy get up early for a trip to Chair Ladder. The 3 Star VS South West Face Direct was in their sights and they had a crag to themselves despite the weather being fabulous once again.

They had a bit of difficulty getting down to the bottom of the sea cliff with Wendy doing two abseils and Chuck down climbing something that must have been a Severe. But eventually they got to the bottom of their climb. Chuck headed on up the first pitch finding it technically interesting and very well protected. He was enjoying it so much he ran the first two pitches together to find a seagull nesting on the second belay stance! Chuck had to make do with another stance to the left. Wendy followed also enjoying the climbing. Thanks to the seagull they had to do an extra traverse pitch. But the rest of the route went okay, despite the overhang making Chuck wish he hadn't eaten so much for breakfast.

There was just time for a quick crag sandwich ( another family secret recipe of Chuck's ) and it was back off to London. No traffic was found on the way.

So the moral of the story is - if the forecast looks marginal on a bank holiday and it's a coastal meet - go anyway. The weather is generally better on the coast than inland and the road will be clearer thanks to the forecast.

Chuck.